The Carthage Press
She Was Trying To Collect On My Life Insurance!
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By Gary Thomas
Oct. 25, 2013 12:01 a.m.

My wife Carolyn and I married young; she was 17 and I was 18. We learned to work well together in all we did. We have had our good times and bad times like everyone else, but we have hung together now for 43 years. Back then, she helped me do all the home improvements and I would teach her the right way. For you see, I was taught the right way in my Shop class at Chillicothe High School. They taught me everything in that class.
Carolyn made a great gopher too, she would go-for this and go-for that, when I asked politely. One year into our marriage we bought our first house on Leeper St. About five years later I moved an old two car garage in pieces from Farmersville to our home. While doing the wiring, I needed help locating the "hot wires" so I could add an outside plug.
The fuse box was in the house, the garage was 100 feet away so we could not see or hear each other. I had to give her precise instructions to get this job done. Here are my words to her:
"Dear I want you to count to one hundred then screw this fuse in , wait five seconds and screw it out. OK? You got that?
Count to one hundred then screw this fuse in , wait five seconds and screw it out. OK?
Screw it in, wait five seconds, screw it out. Got it? Screw it in, wait five seconds and screw it out."
At the same time I'm showing her because it is very important that I do not get shocked. "Are you ready dear?" "Yes," she said. Let's start counting, one..two...three...
As I ran to the garage, I'm try not to lose count. I sat down on a concrete block next to the plug. I pulled the wires lose and hooked up the new leads, as I continued the count. By the time I reached one hundred, I'm done and have the test light plugged in. The light comes on and goes off in five seconds, as planned. I unplugged the test light. Now I'm smiling about my work, I always do that when I'm done.
I moved over to hook the outside plug wires up to complete the job. As I stripped the wires, they knocked me off the block. So I plugged the test light back in the other plug, it was dead. I'm not smiling now.
What did she do? The test light is still off, so I got back to work on the outside plug. As I tightened the screws to the wires with my hand wrapped around the plug...the test light came back on and I was knocked off my block yet again!
Finally, I started back to the house and said... "What are you doing in here?"
"Just what you told me to do. Turn it on and turn it off."
"How many times did you do it?"
"As many times as you showed me."
Duh, I can't remember if she had her hair blond then or not.

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